Seek Him As Gold

December 1, 2010

"Yes, if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; then you will understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God" (Proverbs 2:3-5)

~*~

Last night when I went to bed I found my heart in turmoil. All day I had been struggling because I knew that God was asking for some of my time. He wanted me to take time out of everything else for Him, and for Him alone. Distractions, things that "had to be done" filled my day. As bedtime drew near I felt Him pleading with me to just take a few moments to talk to Him. I didn't want to, and yet I did. I wanted to watch a movie, but I knew that God wanted me to not do so and just be still and listen. I argued with myself as I prepared for bed and then ended up watching the movie. "God, I do love You and I want to be close, but I did all that I knew how and it backfired last week. Why should I try again tonight? I am tired. I don't want to talk about it."

It was a mistake. I knew it then just as I do now. As I went to sleep tears trickled down my cheeks. "I am sorry God..." I whispered, "I just don't want to be disappointed again. I know myself too well. I know that no matter what I do, I always slip away from You after a while because I just cannot seem to keep up my guard. I am tired of the struggle. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do..." Somewhere along about that time I feel to sleep.

When my alarm went off this morning I reached for my Bible, prying my eyes open, as I shuffled through its familiar pages. I was going to try again. I had known when I went to bed the night before that I would. I can never give up on God. I have been close to His heart before, I was so happy there. I cannot help myself. I am pulled to His presence like a moth to a light on a pitch black night. He is my light. My hope. My future. Human nature causes me to stumble, to trip, to want to lie on the ground and never get up. But He pulls me on.

With this knowledge I opened up to my Proverbs for the day and found words there that were like a flash of lightening. "If you seek her (understanding) as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD." All the sudden I made a resolve. I have always sought the Lord. I have always wanted what He has to offer, peace, joy, fulfillment. Yet, as much as I have desired these things, have I ever sought Him like a treasure seeker in search of gems and precious medals? Have I ever been that diligent? I have awoken day after day committed to seeking Him all day long?

God is amazing. When you reach the point where you feel you just cannot keep trying, He reminds you to look deeper, seek harder. He also reminds you that you cannot stay in close fellowship with Him on your own strength. In our weakness, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9). Isaiah 40:31 says: "But those who wait on the LORD, shall renew their strength." "Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand" (Isaiah 41:10), God promised Israel. If God promised to be with, and strengthen, His children then, do you not think that He would say the same to His children today?

"Today is a new day with no mistakes in it," as Anne of Green Gables would say. Today God has blessed me with another chance at learning to love Him as He has called me to do. Sacrificing selfish pleasures for the sake of walking with the Almighty should never be so hard, but it is. Yet, even though it is a daily battle, I find that I cannot help but get back up each morning, struggle to put on my armor and prepare for whatever battles may lie ahead. God is who I am. Once you see the Light, there is no way for you to go but up. Oh, but that one day I could say that not only is God who I am, but I am who God is...

Do Not Worry

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more then clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value then they? Which of you by worry can add one cubit to his stature?"

Matthew 6:25-27

How many times each week do I catch myself worrying about some matter or another? If I should write down every little worry, I am afraid I could fill a small book in a matter of months. In fact, I once read about a man who did just that. Every time he had a worry he wrote it down, then refused to worry about it any longer until his worry day. Every week on his worry day (Wednesday, I believe) he would read over his worries from the last week and see what had become of them and if he still had cause to worry about them. Do you know that of all his hundreds of worries, only a few amounted to anything?

We find comfort in thinking that we somehow can change whatever may happen by fretting over it. In reality, if we just chose not to worry, we would be happier. After all, not much of life is worth our worry anyway, as "Mr. Worrier" found out.

Take down your Bible and read what the Lord has to say about worry. I have always loved the line, "Which of you by worry can add one cubit to his stature?" Not I. I may have added a few wrinkles to my face, but I definitely have not grown any taller because of my worry.

It is out of our hands. God has it under control. Whether you have been worrying about your school grades, or about not having a job. God has it all under control. Yes, I do know that that does not guarantee that we will like His outcome, but I firmly believe that the Lord's ways are higher then my own (Isaiah 55:8-9) and I trust that His ways are best, even at those times when I just can't "see" the good.

"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You" (Isaiah 26:3). This is my verse for the week. I have no reason to worry. I just need to keep my mind focused on my Father. He has it all under control.