Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Is It Okay If I Scream Now?

I have felt like pulling my hair out more then once this last week. Between working and trying to get numerous Christmas projects done, and feeling more then a little tired, I am sure you can understand any motives I might have for yanking out every one of my hairs. Thankfully, God has been a with me through it all, though I must admit to pushing Him onto the back burner more then a time or two, something I am not proud of.

The other night I was stressed out. I was asking myself how I was ever going to get done all the things I want to do, and need to do, and still keep my hair in place. I moaning silently to God, "I cannot do this anymore. I am too tired." Then verses came to mind reminding me that I have had my priorities all mixed up again. I had been allowing things to come between me and God, and until I pulled my focus back to Him, things would continue to be stressful and would continue to give me the desire to scream and pull my hair out.

Time and again since I began blogging I have written on this very topic. On how nothing in life goes right if God is not only in it, but the center of it. When I read over my passed posts, I laugh at how I can say the same thing in so many different ways. Anyone who has been following my blog will see very quickly that the one thing that bothers me most is my inability to keep my focus on God all the time. I know it is only human to sruggle with this, but that does not keep it from bothering me, or keep me from striving to do better in keeping my focus on Him more fully.

Like I was saying, my life has been rather hectic, but when I look at these last few weeks, I realize that many of those hair-pulling moments were of my own making. I would put something off, or try to do a hundred and one things all at the same time, when I did not need to, or I would push my quite time to the back burner, when I knew my day would go horrible if I did. Now I am sitting here writing and shaking my head at myself. Why was I so foolish? Why did I cause myself so much stress and worry? Answer: I do not know, other then I am a human being who has a very small brain that does not function half as well as I like to think it does.

I stand in awe of the mighty God I serve, and am thankful anew each day that He has His hand on my life and is always, always in control of everything that is happening in our crazy world. Once more I am placing my life, all this craziness, all the worries, in His hand. I am thanking Him for His grace, His love, and the way He makes everything better if I will only give Him the chance.

I have been very bad this last little while about writing to you, and for that I am sorry, but as I said, things have been crazy, and even if it was partly my own doing, what was, was, and it cannot be changed now. I hope you will all be understanding if posts are a little more spread out this month, because no matter what, December is always a busy month for me. It is probably my favorite month of the year. I love finding extra ways to show my family I love them, I love helping set up the tree, wrapping presents, and all those little things that make remembering Christ's birth so special. I love celebrating God's gift to us all month long and remembering (and reading) the story of Christ's birth. It is all our family traditions, those things that remind us of what love is, that help me realize what a wonderful gift God gave to us.

I hope each of you has a wonderful month, and that in all the business we will not loose sight of what Christmas is all about. It is about how a little baby was born in a stable and laid in a manger, it is about Christ coming down to earth as a little baby so that we might be saved and so that a bridge would be built so that we could reach the Father.

Have a Merry Christmas,

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