"I was thinking...if I can't trust my husband's decision to not ask for me now, how can I trust him when we are married? If I'm thinking why, in the world won't he ask, isn't that setting myself up for not trusting his decisions when we are together?"
~ Grace & Beauty
Wow, that is a tough question to answer. I cannot pretend to have the best answer, but after a few weeks of thought I do have a few thoughts to share. Can you believe that? :)
Let me start out by sharing a true story. There once was a young lady who desperately wanted to get married yet as her youth slipped away, no prince charming appeared. She struggled with trusting God, her questions were many, and her heart ached. She did not understand. If God had placed such a strong desire in her heart for marriage, then why didn't He hurry Mr. Slowpoke future husband along?
After years of struggling with these questions, she finally lay her deep desire for a husband at the feet of Jesus. A short while later she met the man that would become her husband. As she got to know him many pieces of the puzzle fell together. You see, when she was graduating from high school, he was 11-years-old. When she was in her twenties and grumbling because n husband was in view, he was in junior high and high school. This young lady's story is unique, in that it illustrates that just because you are ready now, does not mean that your future spouse is.
Now it may not be an age gap that delays your getting married. It might be spiritually maturity, relative job security, college, health issues, or any number of things. The point is, God's ways are not our own (Isaiah 55:8-9). Yet His way is the way. For His ways are high and you cannot understand them all (Psalm 139:6). But may I encourage you to wait upon the Lord, trust in Him. For He will give you strength (Isaiah 40:31). Strength to endure any amount of hardships and any amount of waiting.
Did you ever stop and think that the guy you are going to marry might want to marry you now, but God is telling him, "Not yet"? This wait might not have anything to do with the young man's desires, but everything to do with God's. If that is the case couldn't you trust him? If he is earnestly seeking God's will, and being obedient to God's voice, wouldn't you trust him, because you trust Him? Wouldn't you honor his choice, because you honor the fact that he honor's His desires?
Perhaps you are right. If you ask questions like, "Why won't he ask now?" You may be setting yourself up to not trust him later. But did you ever think that you are might be looking at this whole matter from the wrong point of view? Maybe it is not your future husband you don't trust, but God.
Like I said when I started out, I do not pretend to have all the answers and I am not sure exactly where you are coming from. These are just a few thoughts that your questions evoked. I truly hope they may have helped a little.