I hate the times when I do something stupid, even if God and I are the only ones effected by it. It sometimes is so easy to slip up. That is why God's grace amazes me so. I do not understand how anyone can love that much. Jesus gave his life on the cross to pay for my stupidity and sin. Why? I am not even expected to repay Him for His sacrifice. In fact, no matter how hard I might try I will never even be able to return a tenth, a hundredth, of what I have been given. The very little love and service that I can render Him hardly seem worth a hundred dollars, much less His very life.
I suppose I will continue to ponder His great love and mercy for the rest of my life. I may one day understand more then I do now, but no human can ever began to grasp the enormity of it. And that is part of the wonder and fascination which my God holds for me. It is always the "Why?" that keeps me seeking fervently to know Him in a deeper fashion. Mysteries intrigue me, God intrigues me. And so....I continue on, winding down this path we call life looking right and left, up and down, and all around for clues to who my God is. I want so much to come to the end of my journey and still have this childlike awe of the enormous God that I serve.
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not parish, but shall have ever lasting life" (John 3:16).