Monday, July 13, 2009

Right Way, Wrong Way, Which Way to Go?

As a young girl I dreamed of the day I would wear a long white gown and carry a bouquet of flowers walking down a long aisle to my beloved and pledging my life to his. I often wondered how I would meet him and how long we would date before we got married.

When I was just reaching my teen years I had a bomb dropped into my lap. My mother and I were talking one day. She was telling me about how she and my dad met and about some of the dates they had gone on. Then came the shocker, the "I hope you don't date," line. Not date? If I did not date, how would I ever meet my prince charming? If I never dated, I would never meet any men, I would never marry. My dreams were shattered before my childish eyes. I did not understand, but instead of asking my mom how she expected me to meet a man worthy of my heart and hand and not date, I kept silent in my confusion.

Inside I was fuming. "Well, you can say what you want, but I will too date!" I was angry because I did not understand. I was confused. If I did not date, I would not marry. That was how it worked right? For somewhere around a year I continued in a state of confusion about the "not dating" thing. Then my mom gave me a book, Waiting For Her Isaac. It is a story about a Christian home schooled girl and how she matures into a marriageable young women. She meets a lot of struggles on the way, like moving, not having any like-minded friends nearby, an accident, and more. But the thing that struck me most about the story was the family's approach to marriage and how to get to know a guy before you marry him.

They used this term that I had heard before, but thought was so out-of-date that no one really used it anymore. Courtship. That was when I begin to wonder if perhaps there was another way. If perhaps dating was not the one and only way to meet and get to know a man before marriage.

Since then, the topic of courtship vs. dating has fascinated me. I read everything about it that I can lay my hands on. It has become a topic I am passionate about. Why? Because I feel sure that there are girls out there who are looking for the same answers I was not so long ago. If you do not date, then what, and is dating really so bad in the first place?

In the next few months I would like to write a series of articles and share with you what I have learned about dating vs. courtship.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great picture! I love it!