Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Where He Leads Will I Follow?

It looks like my family may be moving in the near future. We have known this might be a possibility for about a year, but it has been one of those situations that I have pushed back in my mind and not thought of as happening now. It has always been "someday we will move", not "we are moving now."

It may sound crazy but when it became clear that we might be moving before summer is over, I went into a panic mode. When I learned that my parents where considering buying a house in a community I was not interested in living in (I did not like the house either) I was floored. This could not be happening to me!

I fought it. I reasoned that there was no way we could fit in that house. We have been used to five bedrooms and this house only has three. There was no way my parents were going to really choose this house, was there?

As the days went by my fears became a living nightmare. My parents were seriously leaning towards buy the house I was so set against. I am ashamed to say I even tried to convince them that there was no way we could live there. Despite my outburst my parents continued to pray seriously about the house.

One day I was getting ready for work. I was talking to God and telling Him that we could not fit in that house, it was not the place we needed to be. Then, it was as if someone turned the lights on. Who was I to think I knew better then God? If my parents were praying about this and they felt that this certain house -which I hated- was the one, who was I to argue?

"But, God, I do not want to go there. Why must I go there?" I continued to argue.

Then I heard a voice so clearly in my heart I knew it was of God. It said,"You promised the Lord you would go wherever He might send you. You promised to follow Him to the deepest, darkest jungle if that is where He lead you. Even if it meant leaving all those you loved behind. Now He is asking you to move to a little town that is still in your home state It is only a few hours from your currant home, you will be with your family, and yet you are refusing to go? What is up with that?"

That is when I knew. God was not asking me to go to deepest, darkest Africa, He was asking me to go to this place I did not want to go. This town, this house I hated. I thought on in a few minutes then whispered, "Lord, if this is where you want me, I will go. I do not understand why You are asking this of me, but I will trust You. I will go where You send me Lord. I will go."

I still was not excited about moving, but the peace that had been evading me returned as it always does when I surrender my will for that of my Father's. It is human nature to play tug-of-war with God over issues of control, yet it is only when we give everything over to Him that we find peace and lasting joy.

I do not know what the future holds, but I know God is with me and that He is in control. I am looking forward to whatever lies ahead with hope because I know that God will remain faithful even when I do not.

So, what hard thing is God asking you to do today?

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