Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Fairytale It Isn't

Would you count yourself as a wise level headed young lady? Do you know that marriage is not exactly a fairytale? Surely you have had examples to watch, parents, grandparents, neighbors, someone. Surely you have seen the disagreements, arguments (I am not saying these should be the norm). Marriage is not all strawberries and cream, and lasting marriages do not just happen.

Recently I was reading a book that talked about marriage. The author said something to the effect that in every marriage, somewhere along the way the fairytale feelings of pure bliss fade away. He did not mean that you would no longer love each other, just that the "in love" feeling that our culture is so caught up in, will fade. This is when the foundation of your marriage is tested.

I wanted to deny this. I wanted to laugh and say, "Yeah, but when my turn comes..." But, the truth is, as time passes you will begin to see more of his or her faults, and if you are not careful you will begin to criticize everything he does. You will began to hold her to all too perfect standards. There may be some other reason, but the fact remains, that the complete joy that you had in your spouse on your wedding day will fade. This is where hard work and commitment have come in.

When that fading happens you need to be ready. "How can I be ready," you ask. First off, remember I am not married, but I have had some pretty awesome marriages to watch, so be patient with me and please feel free to correct me if I am wrong, but this is how I see it. The way to be ready is to take time getting to know each other before you are married. Not just what foods you like, or dislike, but you need to share what you are learning from the Lord. You should discuss theology, children, occupations, homes, everything.

If you want to be a truly wise young person you will seek godly counsel, you will take your time in getting to know your future spouse, you will move forward with caution, and you will listen to your parents!

One day, I hope you find your happy ever after, but as for me, I have already done so. Now, now, Mom, do not panic! I am not talking about marriage here. Marriage would be an incredible gift from God which I would love to experience someday, but marrying will not lead anyone to happily ever after. Only a personal relationship with Jesus Christ can do that.

If you have not accepted Jesus Christ as the Lord of you life, may I urge you to not prolong your wait for your happy ever after. He is waiting, all you need to do is ask.

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but shall have ever lasting life" (John 3:16).


Anonymous said...

You're right on. So many people dream of a rosy, perfect, picture frame marriage, and when that ideal isn't met at some point in time, they think their marriage just "doesn't work" any more, and end up separating, which is tragic. I think that's the reason divorce rates have skyrocketed the past fifty years in the U.S. - it's not like the pioneer days anymore where people expect hardship and trials in life, and know they will walk through them in a marriage as well as any other aspect of life. We are ill-prepared as a nation for life's circumstances, hence the "age of entitlement" where each person "deserves" wealth and complete happiness in life.

Thank you for writing! As always, I look forward to reading your posts and seeing into the heart of someone else who is a follower of Jesus. Keep on keepin' on, Kathryn! :)

Hold fast,
~AK girl

Kathryn said...

AK girl,

I am so glad that I am not the only one who has seen this. It always makes me hope when I hear that someone else sees where we, as a nation, have gone wrong. And to hear that they have ideas on what to do about it. :)

May God continue to hold you through this holiday season.